Cry a little
by HaleyBub
Summary: Brooke's POV. Everything she wanted to tell Lucas, about the things that happened, the way he's acting since they broke up, and even his relationship with Peyton. Oneshot songfic with Faith Hill's song, Cry.


_I heard this song again after a while, and it seemed perfect for a little songfic! The song's called _Cry,_ by Faith Hill. And the fic's on Brooke's POV. It's more of her thoughts, and things she wanted to say to Lucas. I hope you like it. And please leave a review to let me know what you thought!_**

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**Cry**

_If I had just one tear running down your cheek  
Maybe I could cope, maybe I'd get some sleep  
If I had just one moment at your expense  
Maybe all my misery would be well spent_

Why, Lucas? How can you expect me to believe in all those wonderful things you used to say to me? Words don't mean as much, I see that now. Remember what I said back at the wedding? When you said you didn't know how else to say you loved me. Remember what I said? 'How about how you show it?' Words mean nothing. Well, at least your words. You really have no idea, have you? After all this time, I thought you knew me. Couldn't you see the pain in my eyes when you agreed we should be friends, and nothing more? Couldn't you see it, Lucas? Damn it, I was broken. I kept saying Peyton was lost, but I guess I'm the one who's lost. Yes, I said things, and I didn't mean them. And I know it wasn't fair to you, I guess I was mad at you for something that Peyton felt. But I had this insane notion that you knew me better than that by now. What a joke, huh? And now I see the two of you together. You seem happy, I know she's happy. So at least that's something. But it still hurts. It hurts that you can be _this_ happy so soon. Like everything we've been through, it doesn't matter, like it never did. Do you even miss me? Just a little bit? Do you even think of me sometimes? After everything, I guess that's not too much to ask, is it?

_Could you cry a little  
Lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting  
Something in return  
So cry just a little for me_

I'm not asking you to go in front of everybody and tell me you love me. Cause I guess you don't, anymore. Did you, ever? I mean I know you did, but did you love with all that passion, like you made me believe? I believed you, you know? I believed every single word for such a long time. Until we broke up, and I saw it. How much time you spent with her, how you worried all the time. So can you blame me, really? God, I was hurting so much, and I was being a bitch, cause that's the way I deal. With everything, mostly. You, of all people, should know that. You did the same, when Keith died. You pushed me away, remember? And I came back, cause I knew it was just a way for you to deal. I knew you didn't really mean it. Why couldn't _you_ see that I was the one hurting this time? That I was just scared?

_If your love could be caged, honey I would hold the key  
And conceal it underneath the pile of lies you handed me  
And you'd hunt those lies  
They'd be all you'd ever find  
And that'd be all you'd have to know  
For me to be fine_

Was it just a big game to you? I fought so hard not to fall for you again, and when I realized it wasn't gonna go away, then I finally surrendered to it. To your love. After all, you fought for me. And I know you don't think I fought for you, but I did. I fought Peyton, I fought this paralyzing fear of losing you, the fear of being vulnerable and giving you my heart again. I fought it, and I fought hard. If you don't believe anything else, at least believe that. But I guess my mind was right, huh? I shouldn't have. Now I wanna blame Haley for convincing me to go after you and tell you how I felt, I wanna blame Peyton, for telling me I shouldn't worry, cause her feelings for you were in the past. I wanna blame Nathan for not fighting harder to kick you off the team right after you joined. Maybe that way I wouldn't have fallen for you like that. But I can't blame them, can I? I know you may not believe it, but I'm not that selfish. My mistakes are mine alone, and you have no idea, Lucas, you just can't imagine how often I think about everything, and how I wish I could've made things different. But, then again, if you were to do everything the same way, then I guess I wouldn't be able to change anything.

_And you'd cry a little  
And die just a little  
And, baby, I would feel just a little less pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting  
Something in return  
So cry just a little for me  
_

Your words… I don't even hear your voice anymore now. And when I see you, you and Peyton... the two people I used to love the most… I see that happiness we used to have. And you're laughing, like you laughed when we were together. But I look at her smile, and I think of the things you've been telling her. Are they the same things you told me? That love, that feeling, that whole "I'm the guy for you" crap? You better mean it this time, Lucas. I didn't give up on you so you could go and hurt her too, like you hurt me. I guess I didn't give up on you at all, even though I made it seem like I did. You promised you were gonna rescue me from all of it. Remember that? And I was gonna rescue you back. You wanna hold onto that promise? Just think of me sometimes. Just… don't forget me just yet, cause I'm not ready to be forgotten.

_Give it up baby  
I hear your doin' fine  
Nothing's gonna save me  
I can see it in your eyes  
Some kind of heartache, honey  
Give it a try  
I don't want pity  
I just want what is mine_

They call it denial, you know? You can't love someone this much, for so long, and turn away without one single tear, without the smallest bit of sadness. It's just not possible. And she'd understand it, too. God, missing someone, or even being just a little sad cause a relationship is over, it doesn't mean you still love that person. It means that it mattered. But pretending it never existed, was it that horrible that you wanna forget 'us' ever happened? Not even Nathan and Peyton do that! And they were terrible together! Trust me, I was there every time they fought and she'd go to my room crying. But have you noticed how they still talk sometimes, about those times? Does it mean they still love each other? No. Did they ever love each other? Does it matter? What matters is that it happened, and they never tried to deny it to anyone. Haley never felt threatened by it, cause she feels safe, and she knows her husband loves her more than he's ever loved anyone in the world. She's lucky, isn't she? To have this security in her life. That's all I'm asking for, Lucas. You don't wanna get back together? Fine. You wanna be with Peyton? Fine. But don't pretend I never mattered to you, don't pretend nothing ever happened and she was the only one you ever loved. If you ever loved me as much as you made me believe, then do this for me. Please. It meant way too much to me, to just be forgotten like that.

_Could you cry a little  
And lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting  
Something in return  
So cry just a little for me  
_  
_Yeah... cry just a little for me._


End file.
